Reasonable Doubt

So it’s not news that I’ve started running. And so far it’s going really really well, I’ve already managed 2 sessions of interval training round by the lake on campus. Kitted out in my rainbow running gear: (Red top, blue trainers, green earphones) I pushed myself for a full 30 minutes of interval training. This for me was a mini- achievement. I used to run non-stop for at least an hour, but when my depression took hold, I stopped all my social activities, such as running and badminton. As a result of this, I gained around 20lbs and now, that in itself makes me miserable.

However, now I have moved to university and made new friends and started fresh, I feel that it’s time to start with the things I love again. I have started playing badminton and of course picked up running again.

The Beautiful Campus Lake!


So why was it when I told Elizabeth and Shonni (my best buds) that I was planning to run a half marathon next year, they looked at each other with a smirk and a look of disbelief in their eye. Now don’t get me wrong, I know that they think I CAN do it but of course it’s all about whether I will do it. They said this based on their own experience: they have both been saying for months that they will be doing a half marathon, but haven’t really managed to train or enter any races. So I can understand why they would consider me to have a very similar outcome. I will admit, also, that I am not the greatest at sticking to things. I try things and if I don’t see immediate result, I often give up or quit. But this time it’s different. This time, I’m not running for myself. No this time I’m running for The Blurt Foundation and for every man, woman, teenager and child who has ever had a form of depression. I’ll be running for all those families who were torn apart or who are still struggling on through someone in their family having depression, because this IS a mental illness and it doesn’t just affect one person. In fact it affects all of those around depression and as a result SOMEONE out there has to offer some help. That help comes in the form of Blurt, a charity who helps mentor those coping with depression or knows someone with depression. You can get free impartial advice, and if you just need to talk out your problems the Blurt Angels are there…

So when I said I’m running a half marathon for The Blurt Foundation next year, did my amigas have reasonable doubt in my ability to complete this challenge? I think they did. I don’t judge them and I’m not upset by it but it did get me thinking: Do we underestimate ourselves to the point where it hinders our abilities to succeed? Was I underestimated because my passion for something I truly believe in was not expressed but is the very thing that spurs me on to succeed in any challenge I take on?

In all I think I found out why we doubt each other and ourselves: It is mind over matter. If in our mind what we are doing is right and for the best, then we will be able to overcome any hurdles and any challenges that life may throw at us… Or in my case that we choose– you know I don’t have to run a half marathon: I actually want to! 🙂