Life Lessons: Part 1
Recently I had a lengthy conversation/ear-bashing with an old acquaintance. I’d say we’re friends but really, we’re just not that close. She was chewing my ear about how she’d seen pictures of her ex-boyfriend and how bad he looked, which made her feel better and how he’d never find a girl like her… Which is fine to tell somebody you speak to more regularly than once or twice a year. But to then go on facebook and post statuses and videos, pictures of “when you were happy” and pictures of you “Then and Now” just makes you out to be some psycho bunny-boiling bitch who, a year down the line, still hasn’t sucked things up and moved on!
Tip for the future: It’s okay to laugh and think what a lucky escape you really had when the occasional picture crops up, but realistically let’s just leave it at that okay?
The Shelf Life
My favourite person for this life lesson is Madonna. Dear old Madge was an absolute BABE in her Vogue days but as of the past 5 or so years I’ve been dying to grab her by her bony shoulders and shake her until she realises: she is TOO old!!! Dressing like a teenager, swapping clothes with her daughter and prancing around in the skimpiest leotard known to the whole history of man is just, not okay.
So I will admit she had her thing going for her but now it really is time to realise that she’s knocking on almost double the usual retirement age for TV/Showbiz and music. Madge, knocking on 60 nearly should be growing old gracefully but to be quite frank, watching her prance around, dry humping Justin Timberlake in music videos is just embarrassing and distasteful. Can someone remind Madonna that she’s past her Sell-By-Date and needs to give it up. I mean just look at her hands:
If that doesn’t gross you out I don’t know what will! All I know is images of Madonna dressed like an extra from Mr-Motivator work out DVDs is enough to give me nightmares for the rest of my life. Madge, for the love of God, please just give up and revel in the success of your Vogue days!!
Winners Never Quit & Quitters Never Win
The first time I heard this saying was when I was 11, in a book about dating. Or rather the characters who were just starting to date. Now let’s be honest here, I’m no quitter but after 20 years of searching for a dude worthy of dating I’ve come to accept that 1) my standards are pretty high and 2) if it’s going to happen, then it’ll probably be when I’m focussed on something else completely! So realistically, in that context, the advice was total and utter crap. However apply this to other areas of my life such as the time when I didn’t get into University first time round, or not being able to run half a mile without hyperventilating and BOOM: I had my mantra!
These days I am a runner, a University student, aspiring Writer/ Blogger and future language teacher. Why? Because I won’t win if I quit and if I quit I won’t win for sure! That and calling up my mum and having her tell me to suck it up usually did the trick.
So my lovelies, if you suck at something or failed the first time round, the world will not fall from beneath your feet… The rug may have been pulled but hell, you can get a better rug! Get your game face on and stick at it or try again and eventually you’ll get to places you never imagined possible.
…Something else my mum always taught me was; “You can do anything as long as you work hard”. Naturally I thought, being a rock star or famous actress was in reaching distance until I realised that A) I can’t belt out a bad ass tune without my voice dying and B) I can’t act for shit! But you know, I can write, I can ramble and hell-to-the-yeah I can speak more than 2 languages!
So hold your head up high, ditch the ex-boyfriend blues, know when to quit… And when not to!