Mockery of the British Justice System: The Extended Edition


We all remember it well. The haunting face of 9 year old Shannon Matthews who went missing on 19th February 2008, filled us all with horror as yet another child went missing. The worrying trend which seemed to be growing at an alarming rate had struck again, this time taking Shannon.

So it was no surprise when the UK was thrown up in arms as the truth revealed that the monster Shannon called “Mummy” was responsible for her horrific 24 day ordeal! Outrage spread nationwide as the stories revealed that Shannon Matthews had been concealed in the base of a divan bed! The uncle of Karen Matthews’s boyfriend and the monster herself had conspired to kidnap Shannon, in order to claim the reward money.

It’s sad that Karen Matthews could only ever see her child as a Cash Cow!


BUT DO NOT FEAR!!! The British Justice System felt that it was fair that Karen Matthews be sentenced to a mere 8 years for inflicting lifetime trauma on her own daughter… So imagine our delight as a nation when we discovered that she was getting out after only serving half of that pitiful sentence, but not only that: Karen Matthews looked like a new person!!

Hell, I should kidnap my kid sister or brother, go to prison and come out looking all shiny and new! I can’t actually afford my roots to be done, so this option seems kinda feasible. Not only that but it would be rent free (saving me a wad or two) and I’m guaranteed to lose a few pounds! Win-win!!

The Sun published pictures of Karen Matthews out and about with a friend, sporting one cracking new hair-do, a svelte (ish) figure and apparently not a care in the world.

See her amazing make-over here:

And let me know whether you think that poor victim (!) Karen Matthews deserves a second chance at life, with a new identity and the option to start again… Did I mention we’re forking out the cost of all this?!

Not even going to lie, this sham makes me think that actually, there’s no point in staying in this country unless I’m going into a lengthy career as a criminal!