So since finishing the Oxford Half Marathon, I’ve basically been going in a little bit of a downward spiral….
After running Oxford I found out that Student finance had messed up my application way back in April and didn’t bother telling me about it, so in order to fix the problem, they’ve deleted all my applications and made me start again. From scratch. And they only told me this after 5 weeks of already badgering them to sort out my loan. Then a few days ago I found out that they’d deleted all evidence of my identity from their system (well done to them I know!) which subsequently means, they need my passport details, which takes a further week to verify before they can send me a declaration for me to sign and send back. Then they have to confirm and approve the application whilst liaising with the university…. This means the estimated date for me to receive my Student Loan (the one I applied for correctly back in April, before they cocked it up) is actually December. Yes, you saw that right… December. So not only am I having to try to pull money out of thin air or from trees but I’ve also got bills to pay. So if I end up homeless then please feel free to riot on my behalf! 🙂
I’m also having trouble settling back into Colchester and the new flat. It’s a beautiful little place but I constantly feel like I’m cleaning it up! Not massive things but stuff like putting away the iron (but I’m sure I put it away yesterday!) and wiping crumbs off the side when I know I’ve already done that twice in the last hour. I try to keep my bedroom tidy but don’t seem to have time because I’m either cleaning up the kitchen or sorting out the living room. And by the time I’ve done that, it’s a toss up between Uni work or tidying my room up: you go figure which one is going to come out on top!
I love my course, I love my flat and I love being an adult. But seriously, it’s always one thing after another with my life and I’d love it if someone could cut me some slack! I’m stressed about money because of a mistake someone else has made, I’m acting like a 40 year old just so I’m not living like a pig in shit and frankly I feel like I’m in the middle of the ocean on a sinking ship! 😦 I really don’t feel happy and everyone keeps coming to me for advice. I love helping out don’t get me wrong but I do have my own problems and I can’t sort them out if there’s no room in my head left for them!!
The only good thing I can focus on right now is my running. I’ve got a new goal to set my mind to; running a sub 50 minute 10k… At the moment, running is where I get my head space from and it’s my lifeline right now. I’m throwing myself into 6.30am starts for training runs just so I can have a minute to figure out how to make it through this first term!
All I know is, if things don’t start going right soon I may just end up ripping my hair out!
Anyhow, rant over! I just had to get that off my chest! I promise there are a couple of cheerful posts on the way! 🙂