Getting back to the Root of Things!
I touched up my roots on my hair today and it has changed more than just my hair colour!
I’m not one to really wear my heart on my sleeve; I don’t usually take a chance on a special someone and I really don’t like to leap off the edge and hope free-falling will work out! But actually, I took a chance on just how red my hair would turn out and I love the end result!
This might all seem a tad random to you guys, but this post has a little bit more to it than just me redoing my hair (yet again!) because having my hair this colour got me back to my roots. My actual roots of who I am and what I love.
I love to be a redhead… Sometimes I’ll go blonde because I get bored but I always end up back here with the red tones. Lately I’ve been feeling a little lost. Things in life haven’t been going great, in fact they’ve been pretty crappy (queue violins!) but I was raiding a few old bits and pieces the other day and I came across some stuff from when I was 16. I wasn’t perfect at that age but I was relatively happy; before deadlines and bills, before responsibilities and complicated feelings, before life got more confusing! It reminded me of someone I used to like being– with an exception of the eye make-up!
A few things I remembered was how much I used to talk with my friend Jake. We could tell each other anything, hang out wherever and generally just laugh together. Naturally life gets in the way, shiz happens and the next thing you know, your best friend lives down the other end of the country and you hardly ever talk any more! Somehow, me and Jake are still pretty much the same, no matter what seems to happen!
I also found the same when I needed to ask another friend a favour; I realised we hadn’t actually spoken in ages. I’m not great and keeping in touch with people, but back in the days when I was a total grunge kid and had dodgy eye make-up I at least made time to find out how my friends were. I’ve realised I haven’t been in the best frame of mind lately but I’m going babbling for a reason: I’m lagging a bit as a person! (I know people will start telling me I’m being hard on myself right now, and maybe I am but I need to make this revelation!) 😛
Dying my hair, reminded me of who I used to be: a ballsy kid, who took chances, listened to music I actually enjoyed, wore shit eye make up because I liked it, dyed my hair ginger (even though people took the piss) and travelled to another country, just to see one of my best friends!
So who am I now? Now, I’m not sure I recognise the reflection staring back. I did turn into someone, who nearly gave it all up for a few cheap thrills, I let a bad influence get me so low that I almost couldn’t come back from it. I forgot who I used to be and I didn’t recognise it staring straight back at me!
I’m sat here writing this, wearing an old U2 band t-shirt and a pair of beat up old trousers, feeling more like myself than I have in forever! I’ve got a cup of coffee on the side, some You Me At Six playing in the back ground, while I contemplate picking up my guitar and wondering whether or not I can actually learn more than a few chords on it!
I’m not saying I turned into a bad person, I just think that maybe some of the ways I changed weren’t necessarily for the better, and I miss the way we used to be! I miss talking to Jake for hours, I miss visiting my best friend Lilli in Sweden, I miss the Camden days with Vanessa and I miss just being content with how things are. Maybe it’s time to free-fall and see where the chips land? Maybe it’s time to get back to my roots and start doing the things I love, just because I love them… And maybe it’s time I started to live up to my own expectations rather than everyone else’s?
I guess what I’m trying to say (to myself more than anyone!) is to just be yourself, do the things you love; because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind! 🙂