The Ugly Duckling

If I could go back and tell the 15 year old me some advice it would be this:

You are beautiful. The boys don’t like you because you’re not easy and the girls don’t like you because you’re not easy (and that makes them jealous.)

When I was at school, I was the ugly duckling. I had wonky teeth for the first year and braces for the other four. I had hips by the age of 13, a brain in my head and morals that meant I wasn’t going to put out for just anyone. Sarcasm was second nature when addressing bullies and I got top grades in all my subjects. Naturally this meant I was likened into the geeky, uncool group at school. I was an alternative kid who refused to reform to school culture’s idea of popular and pretty and that worked for me. Sort of…

I always got called fat and stupid by the girls and “minging” and ugly by the lads. I got used to and frankly by the age of 16 I didn’t really give much of a shit about them.

Let’s skip forward 5 years and re-evaluate my situation. I’m at university, still being the geek I always was. I work in a sports shop. I’m still ginger, I still have hips (they are even slightly bigger now too!) I’m still refusing to conform to society’s ideal of popularity and perfection……. Except there’s all these lads I went to school with, who are coming out of the woodwork to tell me how fit I am now.

Ahh the ugly duckling........

Ahh the ugly duckling……..

There are SO many things I find offensive about that.

Firstly, I haven’t much changed since my teenage years, sure I’m a little more polished, a bit more confident and a hell of a lot more sure of who I am but on the whole; I still have the same features, the same personality traits and the same attitude towards life!!

Secondly, insulting my past self by telling me that my present self is so much hotter than before will get you nowhere! In fact telling me I’m hot or fit will get you nowhere ever with me because I value other things way more than looks. Try telling me I’ve always had a great smile (even with braces) or that I have a cracking sense of humour. But whatever you do, please stop disrespecting me by telling me I’m just soooo much fitter than I was at school. I will probably tell you that you’re soooo much smarter than you were at school and it must be soooo exciting to have the same IQ as Joey Essex these days……

Finally, go away. Chances are that if you were one of the people who was an asshole to me at school, then you’ve burned that bridge well and truly. Basically I don’t care whether you’d go to the ends of the earth for me: you were a prick and now I don’t want anything to do with you. So at no point, will telling me “I got hot/fit” earn you any man points…


Sorry to rant but I am getting really sick of all these idiots randomly messaging me to tell me things like the above when they were amongst those at school who made my life a living hell. I know I’m the shit, these days I actually have real confidence in myself, I don’t need it validated by a couple of wasters who went to school with me half a decade ago. I moved on with my life, I hope someday they can too!!