Death of the Safe Deposit Box

When I was a kid I used to play at being a princess and being rich. I’d have jewels and wads of money and tiaras galore; precious things I would stash away at the bottom of my dress up box, next to the stethoscope and ballet shoes. As I got into my teens, I got a job and my money was stashed away in this handy thing called a bank account. The older I get the more I worry about where to keep my valuables, from important documents to family heirlooms (of which I actually own none.. yet) and that’s when I remembered: the big banks offer these little boxes for rent that are just like mini vaults!! Not that I need one but I got to looking at which banks offer the best deal on the wonder known as a safe deposit box, only to find that actually, no one really offers this service any more.

WHERE THE HELL AM I MEANT TO STASH MY TIARAS????

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I’ve always wanted one of these bad boys just to make myself feel like more of a gangster. Which raises the really important question of where all the mobsters are going to store their blood money? I mean, take someone like Tony Soprano… I don’t see him stashing his mobster money and tiaras in his dressing up box (I bet he’d have more than a stethoscope in there!).

I took a Spanish course in West London last summer and there are some rather wealthy people residing in that area. After reading about how there had been a recent break-in, where the thieves got away with around £100 000 worth of the poor (oh how I joke) sod’s belongings, I wondered where these people would store their valuables. Clearly not at the bank anymore because that service is just way too costly… What are we all meant to do; install money vaults and safes into our homes?

It’s absurd to me that there are people who are willing to pay, however much it takes to cover the costs of running the safe deposit box service, but hardly anywhere is willing to cough up the goods.

Mobster dreams have been dashed...

Mobster dreams have been dashed…

So whilst my life long goal of taking over the mafia has been well and truly derailed thanks to the lack of somewhere to store my dirty money, I thought I’d take a minute to reflect on the death of the safe deposit box. Now I can never rent one and pretend I’m a posh toff…

Have you ever had a safe deposit box? Do you feel safe storing your valuables at home these days? Leave me a comment below!

And if you are a mobster who is considering offering me a job, then I would just like to say that I have seen Wise Girls and would need extra protection to avoid that ending, before I grace you with my mad gangster skills!! 😉

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